Nedjeljni dan. Ja, po običaju iz kreveta ustajem kasnije nego planirano, pa se spremam brzinom munje. Doručkujem i spakujem stvari, već obučena u planiranu odjeću za današnji izlet. Jedanaest sati. Totalno bezbrižno izlazim iz kuće sa crnom torbom na leđima. Ne nosim mnogo, možda samo čokoladicu i štapiće. Vodu mi je spakovala mama. Namještam torbu na leđa komforno i preuzimam biciklo od tate i njegovog druga koji su ga provjerili prije mog izleta. Rekli su mi da se pazim, pa sam to shvatila kao pozdrav na koji sam samo odgovorila osmijehom. Odvezla sam se do kuće svoje kolegice sa kojom sam trebala ići na planirani izlet. Prije vožnje pravim putem, svratili smo do najbliže prodavnice da sebi uzmemo kafu, jer bez kafe malo šta prolazi. Polako počinjemo da pratimo zacrtani put na kojem nikad prije nismo bile. Ja, kao GPS, koristim svog
druga koji je na tom odredištu bio milion puta pa zna svaki put tamo. Pratili smo svaku uputu koju nam je dao, pazile da ne skrenemo na pogrešno mjesto, te smo nakon duge patnje stigli na svoje odredište. Prelijepi, zeleni vidik. Nikad ljepše prirode ni vode na svijetu nisam vidjela. Odmah zaboravih sve svoje brige i probleme, pa čak i oronuli put do ovog vidika, te sjedoh u šadrvan da popijem kafu. 
NASTAVAK USKORO!

Constantly looking at photos of models that are presented as perfect, not a flaw on their face, no stretch marks, age marks or freckles. That beautiful girl we see in the magazines we buy to encourage ourselves to lose weight, fitness magazines that show us pictures of so-called "perfect" girls.

Obsessing over our body measurements. If our waist is not this size, we go to the gym to work out or starve ourselves for a few days, only to be happy at what we look at later on in the mirror. That small waist that is shown to us as ideal from the voice of society.

Not eating for several days only to keep our weight at a certain number, having unhealthy habits of only drinking water so we maintain that weight. 

Finding pictures of a model walking on a runway, standing in front of the mirror only to compare our looks and measurements so we can see how far we are from being "perfect".

Insisting on cutting out meals. Making sure we input an even amount of calories each day, not more, maybe less. We'll lose weight faster, right?

Denying the fact that we're hungry, lying to not only other people but also ourselves. Our stomach isn't craving food, it's just letting out sounds to tell us he's fine with us not eating regularly, right?

Earning applause from other people after they see how much weight you've lost.

Navigating ourselves towards a lower weight, making sure we stay in the same consistency, eating as little as possible and denying the fact that we're hungry.

Crying over the number on the scale every day after it has not dropped to the amount you want it to drop to.

Embracing the fact that you have an eating disorder. For what? The pictures you found of girls presented as "perfect" thinking they are worth it just because of their number on the scale. You now try and fix it and cry over how much you worried about your looks before your health.

Is that how you gain confidence, dear? Do you stand in front of the mirror and compare yourself to every pretty girl/boy you saw online, causing yourself to develop an eating disorder. Do you think that's the right way? Or do you think you should embrace who you are and flaunt it? Rock that new dress you have in your closet no matter if it shows a bit of your extra fat, rock the shirt that shows a little skin so people are able to see your unique stretch marks. Don't let people tell you what you're supposed to look like. You are YOU. A unique person who doesn't need to change for anyone but themselves. So go on, wear the dress you were self-conscious about. You are BEAUTIFUL. 

A word that holds many meanings, for each person a different meaning. For not everyone is knowledge the grades you get written in your report card. If it is for you, then, you truly do not know the meaning of the word. Knowledge is not the report card, not the book you read in first grade,.. It's something you gain in your life. Your actions that have consequenses. And those consequences have consequences. Meaning you either use the lemons life gave you to make lemonade or use them to make apple juice. If you think outside of the box and leave the inside of the box empty. 

For example, a person that had a traumatic experience.. They have knowledge. Why, you ask? They had the action that caused a consequence. They choose to learn from it and take all the things they learned into their life, making every new action filled with previous knowledge they had gained. They used life, the message life gave them to pursue their dreams, to grow further on and become a better person. They took every little piece life gave them, every little lemon and made apple juice. They thought inside and outside of the box leaving nothing empty. They used their mistakes and their good deeds to build a better life, fill their brain out with more things than just the grades in their report card and the book they read in first grade. Sure, books teach you a ton. Books are the knowledge we are left with after a person dies. The knowledge they had gained in life after every experience they had, rather than every book they chose to copy from other people. Their own experiences. A smart person is not the person who finished with straight A's, not the person who read a thousand books and never truly understood their meaning. A smart person is a person who chooses to be guided by life and it's gifts, being bad or good, being happy or sad. 

"A person without the knowledge of their past history, origin and culture is like a tree without roots"

Don't focus on your grades before your knowledge. Don't think having two F's in your report card means you're less worthy than the person who has none. Don't let it define your worth. Learn from your good deeds and mistakes, learn how to take the knowledge you learned from your actions and their consequences into life. Beautiful, amazing life. What do you think? Do you think you have knowledge? Or do you let other people and grades define your worth?

Kao pravedan čovjek,  

ja neću lagati, 

šećeriti priču,

 jer naša Bosna je doista na gubitku. 

Koliko god prirode imali, 

posao to nam ne stvara, 

pa smo na kraju, svi redom, 

vize od tudjih zemalja poprimali. 

Pa želim ostati, šetati gradom, 

sve poznato, svako se zna, 

a ipak Njemačka svima više privlačna. 

Pa i Slovenija, Amerika te Austrija, 

za hljebom trče ljudi. 

Spašavaju budućnost da kad ostare 

od male penzije ne budu ludi. 

Došlo je vrijeme 

kad Bosanci u Bosni nisu, 

nametnute nam rase 

koje sebe žele da spase. 

Pravila stara više ne vrijede, 

poznata lica sada polako blijede.

 A ja sam još tu, borim se. 

Za sjajnu budućnost još srce gori.

A plan B, za to se bojim. 

Da ne bi otišla ko i svi moji. 

I psići lutaju, vlasnika nema. 

Jer se i taj čovjek za selidbu sprema.

Krupa je moja izložba slika,

Imamo Krušnicu, Unu

i puno vidika.

Krupa je Krupa,

uvijek bit će.

U nju će jednom

čarobna zora da sviće.

Pa od tog dana, 

neće biti sama.

U njoj će opet da vlada

smijeh i galama.

                            (emotional)  P A I N.

“ A hurt, some are bearable while others are not. Some physical pain and emotional pain is unbearable because when you were cut, it was deep, and it bleed, and it got infected, and it scared... it slowly kills you.

Pain of life and love and hope. “ - urban dictionary.

Four letters. One word. Pain. Many meanings, words hidden underneath just a plain surface, feelings flooding their way just to escape the simple four letters, pouring all into our system, leaving a poisonous trace. For some it’s emotional, for others it’s just when you hurt your knee or sprain your ankle. For me it’s both. The pain of feeling you’re hopeless, depressed. Pain as a drug, an emotion you tie yourself to strongly, not being able to let go. One word but that strong. Not even a wound on your body, but feeling like every organ in your body is not functioning, your brain blank and only filled with emotions, depression. Something many experience on a daily basis, coping with it on their own way, finding a hobby, getting their mind off it. I can’t seem to latch it off. It’s stuck. What if it’s become a part of me? What if I’ll never get rid of if? What if pain becomes my lifelong nemesis. What if? Four letters, many meaning, much power. P a i n.